Archive for February, 2010

Workers

February 19, 2010

Workers for the Ensenada Project — Mandadero Mexico

Maneadero Mexico

February 12, 2010

I just spent a week in Mexico photographing for the Ensenada Project during a construction project and a couple of church services for the pastors of the Ensenada Project.
You can see more photos HERE HERE & HERE if you like.

My Alternate Life in 3 Email Stories

February 12, 2010

The Following 3 posts are all part of my alternate life series.
Going on about 4 years now Christi and I have received emails for everything ranging from Tupperware parties to Family Reunions addressed to us at our joint Yahoo account jcmgill. BUT they are not for us, the emails are intended for a John & Charlotte McGill and NOT Jim & Christi McGill at jcmcgill.
To be fair I have returned a great many emails saying “you have the wrong address” and while I am always addressed as “John” I always respond “Jim” yet whether it be John or Charlotte the giving out of the wrong email address, it continues to this day.

The following posts are some of my favorite email exchanges of recent — A few people I know think that this is cruel, Christi and I happen to think it is hilarious, you be the judge while you enjoy the 3 posts below…

Note: We have used our Yahoo account since 1992 so it is not a recently assigned address.

B.A.S.E Camp — Alternate Life #1

February 12, 2010

From: Nancy
Date: Thursday 4 Feb 2010 2:56 pm
To: John McGill
Subject: B.A.S.E. Camp

To the Parents of Jonathan McGill

Your child have been assigned B.A.S.E. Camp on Monday, February 8th

You received a letter two weeks ago about this new program. Students are required to attend if they do not complete assignments. This meets in the library from 4 to 5 P.M. on Monday through Thursday. Teachers are available for assistance with the assignment.
Boles bus students do have a bus that departs are 5 P.M.
This is a program to help your child be successful. We appreciate your support.

Nancy
Math Department/7th Atlantis
XXXX Junior High School

___________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Thursday 4 Feb 2010 3:23 pm
To: Nancy
Subject: RE: B.A.S.E. Camp

Hello Nancy

I appreciate your concern about Jonathan’s math grades, we have long assumed that there is a problem, ever since the day I asked him “just how many hands do you have son?”
His answering hesitation was far to long, thus causing us great concern with his math abilities.

But Base Camp?
That is a little extreme, don’t you think?
Jonathan posses no mountaineering skills we are aware of, unless of course this is an elective at XXXX Jr. High and Jonathan has been keeping this a great secret?

Also of concern, how will Jonathan logistically make the trip between now Friday at 2:56 pm and this coming Monday afternoon? And who is paying for the flight to Kathmandu and the overland journey to Mt. Everest’s Base Camp?

Please let me know and in the meantime I will have his mother wash his warm socks.

Thank You

Jim McGill

________________________________________

From: Nancy
Date: Monday 8 Feb 2010 2:56 pm
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: B.A.S.E. Camp

By the way, Jonathan really does have great math skills if he would complete the assignments, study for test/quizzes, stay focused in class, and take notes. Maybe this new program after school will remind him that most of his work can be completed in class. (No “flight” will be required for this camping experience.)

Nancy
Math Department/7th Atlantis
XXXX Junior High School

Car Pooling — Alternate Life #2

February 12, 2010

From: George
Date: Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:17 pm
To: John McGill
Subject: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

To the Parents of Jonathan McGill

As we are all aware school starts next Thursday the 17th
(Monday 21st for those students that are pre-registered)

This letter is to inform you that due to school budget cuts, we will be relying on our parents to help with carpooling this year because of cut backs on bus service.

Your student falls within the 8-mile radius of the school that will need to rely the heaviest on parental support
(ALL handicapped & special services will remain in operation)

Because of this, you WILL NOT have bus service available in your area.
— Transportation of your student will be solely up to you —
We suggest you set up carpooling with other parents in your area.
Or you can contact the school at 817-xxx-xxxx.

To help facilitate the traffic we have a few guidelines.
• The parking lot is not to be used as a through route to exit.
• Do not allow students to exit the vehicle unless the vehicle is between the cones
(The GREEN sections on the map).
• Pull forward as far as you can in the drop off zone before allowing students to exit the vehicle. Neglecting to do so will needlessly cause traffic to back up.
• Students are to exit the vehicle via the curbside.

We appreciate your support.

George
Administration Coordinator
XXXX Junior High School

_____________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Tuesday 8 September 2009 3:14 pm
To: George
Subject: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

Hello George

I looked at a map as you apparently stated you also had, but we seem to have come up with different interpretations of an 8-mile radius.
While a compass line does encircle our house, it does not however take into consideration a practical route.
I come up with a distance of 14.2 miles, so Jonathan is excluded from the list.

Thank You

Jim McGill

______________________________________

From: George
Date: Wednesday 9 September 2009 8:32 am
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

Hello Mr. John McGill
I was not asking you to determine the route or plot an 8-mile radius.
I was informing you that you DO fall within the mandatory alternative transportation area.

We appreciate your support.

George
Administration Coordinator
XXXX Junior High School
_______________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Wednesday 9 September 2009 11:52 am
To: George
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

Hello George

NO Thank You
& Alternative how?
Things like Hot Air Balloons or Goat drawn carriages?
I think Jonathan would really enjoy a goat carriage, if this can be arranged then I change my answer to YES.
Jonathan will be excited he likes goats!

Thank You

Jim McGill

_____________________________________

From: George
Date: Wednesday 9 September 2009 2:15 pm
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

Hello Mr. John McGill
There are NO goats and NO balloons.
Apparently there is some miscommunication?
There is a pressing need for you to realize that Jonathan will be without school supplied transportation come next week as YOUR HOME IS INSIDE THE 8-MILE RADIUS.

Mr. McGill please contact me by phone, so that we can get this problem smoothed out.

George
Administration Coordinator
XXXX Junior High School
_____________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Thursday 10 September 2009 8:37 am
To: George
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

Hello George

Jonathan is VERY VERY disappointed and has spent a good deal of his day crying ever since I told him that in an effort to raise the money for the school buses you were forced to sell all the trained goats, even after you had promised would be part of his Jr. High school experience.

You are correct we do need to “smooth” out a problem.

First, lets set some things straight Jonathan is not a Crow, perhaps his school records indicate otherwise but you have it wrong.
THEREFORE Jonathan is NOT capable of traveling “As the Crow Flies”

Second, follow this link HERE it will take you to Google Maps and this will clearly show you that because Jonathan is still not a CROW and he is outside your discriminating 8 mile radius.
1. Our home sits on the NW corner of Houston & Tampa the cross walk is at the other end of the block so we will go N past Cleveland
2. I will require Jonathan to go 2 extra blocks to 34th street, there is no reason why he should turn on 32st he will get distracted by the many stores.
3. I do not like the Browns (maybe you hate them too?) so Jonathan will not walk down State St. even though it may seem the most direct route, the Browns can not be persuaded to move, so that route is out until they leave!
— Perhaps you could call them and tell them to move? It would save 1.6 miles!

As you can see this is clearly well thought out and will cause you to change this dumb policy

Thank You

Jim McGill

________________________________________

From: George
Date: Thursday 10 September 2009 10:43 am
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

Hello Mr. John McGill
I just called and left messages on both your home phone and what I have listed as your cellular phone.

WE NEED TO TALK

George
Administration Coordinator
XXXX Junior High School

________________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Thursday 10 September 2009 10:48 am
To: George
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

Hello George

I could not hear either phone as we were outside.
In an effort to conform Jonathan to your goat HATING and student DISCRIMATING school. I am trying to teach him to climb houses and jump roof to roof.
But he is very uncoordinated and keeps landing near the sidewalk instead of the next roof.
I am failing to see how you expect the other kids to travel in straight lines!

Thank You

Jim McGill

_______________________________________

From: George
Date: Thursday 10 September 2009 10:50 am
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

I just called again and you did not answer, CALL ME 817-xxx-xxxx

George
Administration Coordinator
XXXX Junior High School

_______________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Thursday 10 September 2009 10:51 am
To: George
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

I just told you I am outside!

Thank You

Jim McGill

_______________________________________

From: George
Date: Thursday 10 September 2009 10:54 am
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

John
If you are outside why are you responding to my emails within minutes?
Just answer the phone.

No one is saying that Jonathan needs to walk to school be it 8 miles or 14.1 miles and actually by definition your own google maps shows that your home is 1.75 miles from the school by way of Continental Avenue.

But no matter which resolution you arrive at, the fact remains YOU and I NEED TO TALK BY PHONE ASAP

George
Administration Coordinator
XXXX Junior High School

_______________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Thursday 10 September 2009 11:02 am
To: George
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

THANK YOU for noticing, I have trained myself in the art of rapid response to emails and I employ the use of a wrist computer (my own invention, well not the duct tape part). Sorry it could not be responses in mere seconds! But I keep getting distracted and scared by the telephone ringing as someone is dialing our number like every two minutes and it is driving me insane today.

I just checked google maps on a larger computer screen (my wrist computer screen is 1” x 1” to optimize speed while running) it appears there is a Continental Ave. But it has been my experience and you might learn from this as well, ANYTHING that appears past the left side of my wrist computers screen is make-believe and is put there to confuse people with disinformation. Therefore Continental is fake and you should consider relocating your school.

Perhaps if THIS IS ALLOWED, Jonathan will just be driven to school?

1. At least until he is over the trauma of you selling his goats.
2. Until he is better shape and can vault over the many houses that stand in the way of his school commute.
3. Or I invent him giant legs, personally I think that this may be the best solution.
— Could you please have your Metal Shop teacher call me on this, perhaps, and that is a big maybe! I could share the profits with you since clearly your discriminating practices will result in many more students needing giant legs.

Thank You

Jim McGill

________________________________________

From: George
Date: Thursday 10 September 2009 12:09 pm
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

John
We still need to talk either in person or via phone by the 17th

YES I agree it would be best if you drove Jonathan to school yourself and forgo joining a carpool assignment.

George
Administration Coordinator
XXXX Junior High School

________________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Thursday 10 September 2009 3:17 pm
To: George
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Car Pooling XXXX Junior High School

As soon as this crazy person quits making my phone ring I may call you.

I cannot drive Jonathan to school myself; you will need to assign someone to pick him up and drop him off. Similar schools use large yellow trucks to do this, perhaps with the goat proceeds you could acquire one?.

The whole idea of me doing it myself is nuts! There is NO need for me to wake up before 9:30 I am not in school anymore, God why would I wake up early!
Also I cannot drive a car anyhow, because of a DUI riding a bicycle is my only transportation. I do have a basket but Jonathan is a fat child, perhaps if you were trade me Jonathan for a smaller person. Maybe a small Asian child that could fit in my basket we could work out a deal.

Thank You

Jim McGill

The Family Reunion — Alternate Life #3

February 12, 2010

From: The Monty Family
Date: Friday 24 July 2009 8:35 am
To: John McGill
Subject: We Have DATES!!!!!!

Hi John & Charlotte

When: August 8-9 2009
Where: Grandpa Genes (of course it is at the lake house!!!!)

Please join us for the almost annual & generally planned out family reunion, bring your tents and campers. There will be electrical hookups this year.
Lindsey will coordinate the food, look for a email from her soon.

PLEASE R.S.V.P to me and let me know how many to expect.

It will be a blast, hope to see you all there!

June ☺

________________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Wednesday 29 July 2009 1:14 pm
To: The Monty Family
Subject: RE: We Have DATES!!!!!!

Hello June

Sorry it has taken so long to respond.
Unfortunately it has proven very difficult to get everyone into the same room for counting. But at last I figured out a plan to complete your assigned task and I have a number.
It is 18

Thank You

Jim McGill
________________________________________

From: The Monty Family
Date: Thursday 30 July 2009 10:01 am
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: We Have DATES!!!!!!

Hi John
18 is the number of what?
People who you are RSVP’ing?

Let me know

June ☺

PS Hey do you know how to get ahold of Pete?

_______________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Thursday 30 July 2009 5:56 pm
To: The Monty Family
Subject: RE: RE: RE: We Have DATES!!!!!!

Hello June

Nope it is 19, apparently 1 was hiding, damn it.
But don’t worry it has been amended and he will never ever hide again!

Who is Pete? Must I add him into my count or is he on someone else’s tally?

Thank You

Jim McGill

________________________________________

From: The Monty Family
Date: Friday 31 July 2009 11:35 am
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: We Have DATES!!!!!!

Hi John
Pete, as in your brother Pete, I have a Verizon.net address that keeps returning to me and apparently since he moved I do not have his phone number anymore.

John why was “one” hiding and why “19”? Or are you serious you are bringing 19 people?

June ☺
________________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Friday 31 July 2009 11:36 am
To: The Monty Family
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: We Have DATES!!!!!!

Hello June

My brother’s name is David, so Pete whomever that is, will definitely go on your tally sheet, I will refuse to claim him.

19 yes, well 20 actually if I have to count myself?
Or did you already do that? I never know how these RSVP counts go, sometimes ME + Guest(s) and sometimes TOTAL ( _ ) Guests which already assumes that I will be coming or I would not be bringing anyone with me. Otherwise the invitation would just go to the guests and thus I would not be invited at all.
I find these email pop quizzes so confusing, which is why I avoid polls & surveys. God I hate lying awake at night wondering if I gave the right answer to all you email RSVP, Survey & Poll People!

Maybe this will help.
Me + Wife + Her 4 children + Her Mother + Her 3 Sisters + Their 3 Husbands + Their 7 combined Children = 20

Thank You

Jim McGill
_______________________________________

From: The Monty Family
Date: Friday 31 July 2009 12:28 pm
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: We Have DATES!!!!!!

John
20? What are you talking about?
You and Charlotte only have 2 children.

June ☺

______________________________________

From: Jim McGill
Date: Saturday 1 Aug 2009 7:56 am
To: The Monty Family
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: We Have DATES!!!!!!

Hello June

My new wife’s name is Rose, she has 4 children and is Filipino thus the large family that I must take every where.

Thank You

Jim McGill
_______________________________________

From: The Monty Family
Date: Monday 3 July 2009 10:34 am
To: John McGill
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: We Have DATES!!!!!!

John
Sorry for the confusion. I did not know that you and Charlotte were having problems and we surely did not know that you had remarried.
I look forward to meeting your new wife Rose and her family this weekend.

June ☺
PS Still no idea how to get ahold of Pete.